D3 body, D1 cock
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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