Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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