I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
