Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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