Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
