whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize