Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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