i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Randomize