eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
