I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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