You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
