How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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