I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
