Your tits are I can't wait for
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
home. puking in laundry basket.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
