You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
