Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You smell like stripper and shame
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Randomize
