At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize