no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
