Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize