we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
