i need an iv and a liver transplant
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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