soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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