I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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