Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
