so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
