The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
