i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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