i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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