I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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