...so i touched it.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize