were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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