Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
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