Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
