I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
