The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
