I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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