We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
They have beer where we have blood.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
