either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
