"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
