this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
