the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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