My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
