He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
