Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
