East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
please come you make the beer taste better
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
im holly from the hills drunk
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
