And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Randomize
