Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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