he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I think a kid would responsible me up
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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