people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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