I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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