Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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