I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
