Swine flu. Run for my life!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
