Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize