Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
