first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
