So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
