I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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