just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The struggles of a small town man whore
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
