So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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