I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
