Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
