I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
