I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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