Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I'm really busy with my period
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
