Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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