Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
