Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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