Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
