I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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