do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
