I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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