You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize