the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
