I wanna bring you to show and tell
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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