an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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