Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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