I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
